Whom Should I Trust?

 

For my entire life i have been fearing everything, 

Since childhood, wasn't not fear of people.. it was a fear of the future

I  fear of having depression one day, fear of losing someone to the dead or even failing a semester..

I haven't experienced any of these yet, i just was fearful

I have been anxious all the time

I tried to have hope

I liked the notion of' "having hope"

But was too positive and abstract

I tried it too many times but it fails

The idea of "hope" what failed not me,

Because i know that i don't give up something
This might look like me giving up but it's not,

I give up the strategy, not the goal

Anyway i don't to look like explaining my self,

I have known 'Reliance on Allah' since i have been child too..

But i have been taught (it) in abstract way,

I once read a Dua in Arabic in someone's Whatsapp status which it might be translated into:

“Oh God, do not abandon me to myself even for the blink of an eye”

It means ( do not leave me in charge of my affairs even for the blink of an eye)

It just went deep in my heart, like if i have been holding the worries of all humankind in my chest.. 

And the more i say it, the more i trust Him, the more i feel worry-free..

It is not just taking the easy way to free my self from worries, it led me to remember that all my life is planned Before i was even born, but the realization of our pre-planned fate gave me the strong trust in Allah.

Now i discover why is "hope" useless

And yes (why is "hope") not (why was "hope")

Because hope by it self is just fake, fake because it lacks some thing which is:

(hope in Allah's will), because "hope" doesn't own the ability to affect my life or anyone. 

But Allah does!

I have stories with Reliance on Allah, 

Which happened to me, not to others'.

I might write one day some of them Inshallah..

short YouTube Video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zn5Vrwwsz7w

Long one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pt1kYG-P0pA

Allah: (=God)

Dua: (= Verbal prayer, not the preformed prayer)

Inshallah: (= If Allah pleases, if Allah meant it to be)